Kendrick Lamar and Father John Misty both dropped albums on November 22nd, which means I’ve been able to be obsessive and annoying about two wildly different albums at once. “Coffee and a cigarette. Found no better means of revolt yet” – Father John Misty, “Mental Health.” “Hey now, say now, I’m all about my Yen.Continue reading “december 10, 2024 – performative journaling at the End of the world”
Tag Archives: friends
november 26, 2024 – performative journaling at the End of the world
You wouldn’t know it from the way you’re reading this now, after it’s been typed and lazily proofread, but I’m changing up the PJ this morning by writing it first by hand. My hope is the change in rhythm will return me to a voice more approximate to something genuine, closer to something more approximateContinue reading “november 26, 2024 – performative journaling at the End of the world”
october 22, 2024 – performative journaling at the End of the world
I’ve noticed a recurring tendency with these posts: I feel a strange allegiance to being negative. I’ll go to write something, anything, and it almost always feels too positive to be worth sharing. With everything going on in the world, and the title of this “project,” whatever that word “project” means, I often feel like I need to be excavatingContinue reading “october 22, 2024 – performative journaling at the End of the world”
october 15, 2024 – performative journaling at the End of the world
If it hasn’t been brought up before or if people have just met me, they tend to guess that I’m older than I really am. I think it’s a skincare thing: I’ve gotten a lot of sun and not enough sleep for years, and I boozed pretty hard in my early twenties, so my almost-twenty-six-year-old faceContinue reading “october 15, 2024 – performative journaling at the End of the world”
october 8, 2024 – performative journaling at the End of the world
Writing feels best when it’s surreptitious, a secret, the act of a child reading past bedtime with a flashlight under the covers. What is usually a leisurely, contemplative activity is, today, a combative rush, something done quietly in a found moment at work. It’s a busy day, is what I’m trying to say. Today, I’mContinue reading “october 8, 2024 – performative journaling at the End of the world”
september 24, 2024 – performative journaling at the End of the world
I wonder often about what I could be if I just got out of my own damn way. My bad habits have ranged over the years from innocuous to injurious, from seductive to sad. I’m going on two months of not biting my fingernails, for example. Aside from an extra cold now and then and the stigmaContinue reading “september 24, 2024 – performative journaling at the End of the world”
august 6, 2024 – performative journaling at the End of the world
It feels like the world has a head cold. Nothing serious, but a constant, slow drip. You dreamt of floods and you drive in rain, and you can’t get the right wiper speed without the plastic blades whimpering against the glass, but your music is just right. The world outside is wet but the rainContinue reading “august 6, 2024 – performative journaling at the End of the world”
july 23, 2024 – performative journaling at the End of the world
We’ve finally arrived at the present. I’m not driven to write about much, other than to reflect on a weekend filled with gigs, pools, and political upheaval. The two-week buffer of material I had, until now, has disappeared after two weeks of inactivity, one justifiable and one less so. This is part of an enduringContinue reading “july 23, 2024 – performative journaling at the End of the world”
june 18, 2024 – performative journaling at the End of the world
I found my first gray hair yesterday. They’ve been in my beard for years, but this is the first one to grow out of my head. And it’s all Bruce Springsteen’s fault. After sustained and enthusiastic recommendation by one of my good friends, I finally tried out the ’78 album Darkness at the Edge of Town, andContinue reading “june 18, 2024 – performative journaling at the End of the world”
june 4, 2024 – performative journaling at the End of the world
How boring would life be if it wasn’t all by chance? It was the usual setting for a conversation with friends about fate: the only light came from a lit anti-insect candle, beers were warming in our hands, and we sat around a wooden table on my buddy’s deck while I calculated how much moneyContinue reading “june 4, 2024 – performative journaling at the End of the world”
matt nilsen 